Wednesday , October 27 2021

Kenyamanan Diri

Kita selalu bisa tahu, apakah seseorang yang berada di dekat kita merasa nyaman dengan keberadaan kita atau justru menganggap kita sebagai gangguan. Demikian pula orang yang kita ajak bicara. Mereka memberi isyarat dan tanda dengan bahasatubuhnya untuk mengungkapkan ketidak nyamanan itu. Kita selalu bisa menangkap gejala-gejalanya.

Dalam dekapan ukhuwah, kita kemudian akan tahu diri. Kita merasa, kitalah masalahnya.

Tetapi bagaimana dengan peran sebaliknya? Apakah kita juga pernah merasa tak nyaman dengan kehadiran seseorang di dekat kita, atau dalam kehidupan ini? Jawabnya tentu pernah Pertanyaan selanjutnya adalah darimana asal perasaan tak nyaman yang kitaalami ketika berhadapan dengan orang? Pada umumnya, kita akan menjawab dalam dua sisi. Bisa dari mereka, dan bisa juga dari diri kita sendiri.

Saya lebih sering merasakan yang kedua.

Gangguan itu berawal dari dalam diri saya, bukan berasal dari orang-orang yang mendekat ke dalam kehidupan saya, apalagi sahabat-sahabat tercinta dalam dekapan ukhuwah. Bukan. Sama sekali bukan dari mereka. Saya betul-betul merasa, gangguan itu ada di sini, ada dalam diri saya. Ada ketidak nyamanan yang zhohir sifatnya. Misalnya, saya belum mandi dan belum bersiwak sehingga khawatir berdekat-dekat akan membuat kawan tak nyaman. Atau ketika merasa pakaian yang saya kenakan kurang pantas dan baunyaagak apak karena telah berkeringat seharian.

Tapi ada yang jauh lebih menghalangi kedekatan dibandingketidaknyamanan zhohir. Ialah ketidak nyamanan batin terhadap diri kita sendiri. Kita merasa kotor, berbau, dan kerdil berharapan dengan saudara seiman. Kita merasa telah terputus dari ikatan cinta dengan mereka akibat kemaksiatan yang kita lakukan. Ya, itu benar.Saya teringat sebuah hadits yang tercantum dalam al-‘Adabul Mufrod no. 310 dan al-Musnad V/71.

 

“Tidaklah dua orang yang saling berkasih sayang karena Alloh berpisah, kecuali disebabkan oleh dosa yang dilakukan oleh salah seorang diantara keduanya.”

(HR. al-Bukhori dan Ahmad)

 

Awal-awal ketika hati kita masih peka mengenali kemaksiatan sendiri, kitalah yang merasakan ketidak nyamanan batin. Tetapi jika perilaku dosa itu berlanjut, ketidak nyamanan itu juga akan makin hebat dan meningkat. Bukan hanya kita yang merasakannya, melain-kan juga orang-orang yang kita kasihi. Bisa jadi, kemaksiatan yang kita lakukan telah membuat Alloh murka, lalu Dia tanamkan rasa benci kepada kita, di dalam hati hamba-hamba yang dicintai-Nya.

Na’udzu billaahi min dzaalik

 

 

Sumber:

Dalam Dekapan Ukhuwah – Salim A. Fillah

 

Baca juga: Amalan Hangus Gara-Gara Status

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